worst day in the 1st week in 4th year

pagi2 tersentap ble tgk jam kol 8.57 pagi. mcm mne ni????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! ak ada lecture kol 9 pagi. arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stress...nk nangis. klu ak mandi. or at least gosok gigi n basuh muka.then siap2 konfem lmbat smpi. jauh tu nk g department. pasrah. akhirnya ak decide xnk g. sedih....smlm ak dh bce utk lecture arini. ada yg x phm igt nk dgr doctor lecture cmne. sedih. terkilan. mcm nk hentak2 kepala kt dinding. ak x pnh kot nk ponteng lecture. x kisah la ak ready ke x, malas ke rajin ke. akn aku gagahkan gak diri ni utk g. tp aini mmg worst day dlm 1st week psychiatry posting. tertekan. mula bangun smpi kol 10 lbih ak xleh nk duduk ngn aman kt uma. bimbang la x g lecture. tu la farhana, len kali ble pagi2 dh bgun jgn la tdo smle. ni gne selimut babi sbb tu x bgun. sedih sgt2...........

dh la plak....tbe2 paip wat hal. tersumbat lagi. kena kemas lagi ngn bau yg x sedap. eeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rasa klu ada mnusia kt depan aku mmg dh kna maki.

pastu hujan. alamak.perut dh lapar.nk turun bli mknn tp sgt mls coz hujan agak2 lebat. mkn megi je....

then kol 2.30 g lecture utk forensik posting. dh la pilih tempat duduk bwh econ. sejuk x hengat. introduction plak akak yg gedik n mayb ada bipolar disorder yg bagi intro. rimas gler dengar.
then kol 4++ bru stat lecture btol. kol 6.45 kot habis. perut ak dh la lapar nk mati. nk masuk angin dah.

rasa cam busy sgt je 4th year. forensik at least observe 10 n ~4h/postmorterm. adoi~~!! SSM lg. mcm x terkawal je.

adoi~~~ smoga ak dpt wat ngn baik utk 4th year ni. igt farhana nk baiki pointer. nk jd org paling last dipanggil utk grad ke? xnak kan???? jadi blaja la leklok.

blurrrrr....!!!

kol 8 g dept psychiatry. ok as usual la, 1st day mesti start dgn briefing.

dpt jadual for the whole 8 weeks. tapi!! x phm 1 habuk pon. until now. malas nk phm. harap2 ketua akn sentiasa chain msj utk igtkan aku.

act, i'm not in study mood. masih blur2. ngn buku selai pon tarak. otak mmg dh diformat semula pas reseat aritu. xtau la plak ble nk isi. ak dh spacekan 500GB utk 4th year. cukup ke x ekh? x cukup ak tmbh external. hihi....

ya Allah.bagilah aku kekuatan dan kerajinan.sesungguhnya kemalasan telah menghantui diri ini....tabahlah..~~~

ok.td pnjm buku kt library dh.so no more excusessss utk x study. rajinkanlah diri anda ye farhana ye. sekian~~~

i am just NOT happy.

alhamdulillah...finally im 4th year UKM medical student. stlh berpenat lelah mengerah segala keringat akhirnya i pass my reseat posting. utk 4th year, my 1st posting is psych --> triad --> exam -->paeds -->ortho. syukur sbb hampir merapatkan jurang utk jd grad.

but im just not happy as others. actually not happy at all. happy 30% or maybe less. and the other 70% or more,,,im SAD.very very SAD. no words can describe how i felt.

org lain dpt result sume happy.
ak nangis dpt result. mcm mse ak tau ak pass ong n surgery. tp bkn la sbb aku hepy sgt2. tp sbb sumone who very close to me didnt make it.

bkn nk over, tp ak rasa tempias jugak.
thats y aku pon x smgt sgt nk nek 4th year. sumone yg u cari utk share everything xde. sumone yg akn temankan u bila u ssh sng xde. when u bored, he the one u seek.

hmm....xtau sbnrnya nk ckp apa. but hope he will be fine. really hope. Allah promises u somthing better..n Allah knows awk boleh trima. bkn dia sahaja, buat kawan2 yg lain jgak, especially yg study sesama mse kte reseat aritu, Allah dh tulis semuanya utk kte. HE knows the best.

n hope sgt Allah bagi aku kekuatan to continue my journey.sape2 yg kata ak over mcm ak yg *ai*, sory coz u r not the one who carry this burden. same goes with me actually. ak cme blh bg advice. tp batu tu bkn hempap ats kepala aku. sakit yg aku rasa x sehebat yg dia n korg rasa.

for those yg officially 4th year MS, jgn lalai plak. kna usaha lg. perjalanan kte pon mayb x semudah yg disangka. to remind me myself also.

berharap sgt2 biar kte semua blh grad. n jd HO --> MO-->registrar --> specialist --> consultant. insyaAllah aminnn...~~